+ kids - caught & caged.

Paging all of my one follower.

As many girls do, I shop. And when I shop I see a vast variety of the people society has to offer. This includes those deranged parents who harness their kids up. 
I seriously do not get it at all.
They're not some savage animal like a dog on a walk. It's not like your kids gonna sprint away at the speed of light like Flash Jr and weave and dodge around the crowd to escape from you. Unless you're a terrible parent  (like ones who cage their child in this leash) that feeds their children soft mushables 24/7 and makes them watch the new Sesame Street and for Christmas last year bought them a "in the midnight garden" blue toy, then that's completely understandable. Because - on another off-note rant - I would be personally suicidal if I saw that blue thing in my garden in the night.

 No way in hell am I greeting that demon with warm open arms and a cup of tea. Get lost. If I see that 'Iggle Piggle' frolicking in my garden, I'm reaching for my shotgun (assuming I'm a Southerner and keep a variety of shotguns under my bed), and bustin a cap in that blue toyboys assssss... but enough about the devil from the night garden...


Now that picture above of the girl in that harness is amusing on many levels. I don't think you'd be smiling if your younger brother was 'mush-ing' you around like some snow dog on a harness. So you wipe the smile of your face young lady. 
And I doubt 2 year old child is a menace to society. They can barely talk and walk, and half of them don't even have enough teeth to degrade corn.
Now in the airport I saw this mother who had two kids on these harnesses. One I hypothesised was no younger than five and the other looked like he was two. Now I'm no mother, but I'm almost 130% sure that it's not difficult to monitor two rather lazy kids. Especially these ones. The five year old was sat on the chair with a liquified chocolate bar melted in his fat little paws and evidently wasn't blessed with co-ordination as there was also brown schmeeeeered all over his chubby little face. The other was on the ground, on his tummy, like a beached whale, or a grotesque lizard whose ligaments are insufficiently powerful to propel it like your regular reptile. Now in order for him to actually physically move his mother had to literally drag him across the airport terminal. You could hear the disagreeable skin vs tile -friction debate from every direction as he bobbed and lagged across the tiles. Now call me crazy (don't actually), but he didn't fit the 'sitting outside with the opposite end of the leash tied to a bikepole' stereotype. He wasn't a criminal and this was the child-friendly handcuff. He quite literally wasn't going anywhere.
They've even made them more 'kid friendly' by disguising them as little animal backpacks. Sorry you clever marketers, you've fooled no one. We all see, as clear as daylight that these kids are in a material cage, trapped by a cartooned and visually inaccurate caricature of an animal. Really, seriously?

So who is perpetuating this preposterous market of baby-leashes!? Because if it's you (which we all know it's not because no one is reading this...), you deserve a visit from Iggle Piggle in the night...


Over and Out - Stay Tuned.
life's narcissistic narrator. 
+hann.