+ look, that kitten can't hang on forever.

Guten Tag my Five Fortunate Followers!


Right well I am rather forgetful and I forgot to mention the dreaded inspirational poster in my waiting room blog. Apologies for those who are sensitive to segways and smooth flowing passages. This will have to suffice.


I despise them - with a passion. 
Not only do they not inspire me, they do quite the opposite. They almost anti-inspire me. 
From the instant I register the posters existence, from that point onwards, I will go out of my way to make sure that poster had no part in my actions and life whatsoever.
It's like reverse psychology. It's instructing me to be determined, and excel, or achieve, but really now I want to do now is be slothful, slack and unmotivated. And when I'm feeling particularly rebellious I like to sneak in a cheeky 'why don't you make me' comment.
Unfortunately this is one of my many many 'spite decisions' where I often do the opposite to whatever or whoever is telling me to do. It's actually gotten to the point, where, even if I do yearn to say - not climb a tree (which for people who know me, even just a little, will know I would never do), and someone says don't climb that tree. I'll do it. Even though I hate nature and it hates me. Simply because they're pissing me off or I don't like that tone they're using. I'll climb that gosh darn tree, even if there's bugs in it...which for trees is highly likely. 

(my favourite - the classic "keep holding on kitty" picture. I particularly like this branch of poster as they've gone out on a limb and used a looser, more hip retro font, just to lighten up and mask the inevitable death of this innocent kitten)


Right. But speaking of nature.
They're generally always nature orientated. Which also aggravates me, as I also loathe nature, and in return it hates me too. It's quite a healthy relationship. But it's not like - look out of your window - nature, it's always peaceful, calming, stress reducing nature that makes you go 'naww' or exhale a sigh of depression as you realize you're not jumping off a waterfall, you don't have a pet lime green frog, and you don't have a view of the ocean with a photoshopped orange sunset permanently. And then you return to mindlessly gawk at your computer monitor or remember you're minutes away from your root canal appointment. Not what I'd call inspirational. 


And then you have the comedic attempts. Poor - comedic attempts. I don't know where to begin. But it usually includes ridiculing the decrepit status of the elderly or a furry animal of some description in a slightly hazardous and yet ridiculously easy to avoid - situation. Which usually prompts you to think: "how the hell did that cat get there in the first place?" If anything it makes you frustrated. On so many levels. Not only can you not afford to go visit these not so exotic places and see these conveniently positioned iconic animals...etc... it's just a whirlwind of confusion and depression.


The majority of the time the picture isn't even remotely relevant to the caption. Maybe because the caption has integrated the most amount of cheesy-ness and cliche-ness legally imaginable (yes you can illegally imagine things, according to me) and slapped together some heartwarming remedy tag to follow attempting to include as many encouraging words as possible. 


So for your enjoyment. And to promote and support my frustration...I hope you feel motivated by the following album of literally - crap.

Motivating? Methinks depressing. 


Stay Tuned.
life's narcissistic narrator.
+hann.


-OVER AND OUT-